


Every time you shine, you help me define

by shootfortherarls



Series: Billy and Steve not Adam and Eve [1]
Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: M/M, STRONGLY ADVISE LISTENING TO BLOOM LATER BY JESSE RUTHERFORD, The otp prompt series no one asked for, enjoy this lmao, sorry kids, that was the inspiration because that song got me in my feels while writing this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-03
Updated: 2018-02-03
Packaged: 2019-03-12 19:22:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13553928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shootfortherarls/pseuds/shootfortherarls
Summary: "Person A has died recently. Person B sees someone who looks just like them in public." -otpprompts (Tumblr)





	Every time you shine, you help me define

**Author's Note:**

> Hey bitches im back on my bs, here's some sad ass shit

The day it happened still is etched into Billy's brain. Partly because Billy regrets everything that happened leading up to the day of Steve's death. The fact that he had been mad at the man for three days, over something he barely even fucking remember now. Steve had also been killed in his car and his body had rotted away for four additional days in Billy's Camaro, there was that. 

Sometimes Billy thinks back to the month before his life had went to complete shit, him and Steve were laying on top of Steve's car, Billy had told him that they really shouldn't be on top of Steve's fancy and shiny car, scuffing their muddy shoes along the car's window shield, but all Steve had said was "Shut up and kiss me Billiam Hargrove," Billy had rolled his eyes at the nickname back then and responded " _You better kiss me back Stevie,"_ but now, he'd give anything to hear it one more time, in the same mocking tone Steve had always said it in. They had been looking around at their surroundings, taking in the bushy trees that were slowly withering away. Billy hadn't thought about it, but maybe this night had been a sign from someone in another universe, or maybe in that other universe, instead of Billy and Steve hanging out on top of Steve's car, they had been on Billy's car and instead of talking about death and afterlife, maybe they had been talking about growing old together and living happily. 

" _What do you think happens when you die? Like do you think you die and then you're immediately in this white paradise and you're just at peace?"_

_"No, not possible, I think once you die, you die, you're just sleep for the rest of your life and that's that, there's no godly white man accepting you into a place called Heaven, and there's no evil red man dooming you to Hell, you're just dead, plain and simple,"_

_"Billy-" Steve had let out a sigh and rolled his eyes as he let out a soft smile._

_"You're only saying all that because you never went to church or even picked up a Bible in your life, I'm not saying I think there is some 'godly white man' but I do think there is a different place you go once you die, maybe not heaven the way they explain it in Bibles and shit, b-but, I think everyone has a different heaven, whether it's a day from your childhood you still remember or even maybe an alternate universe of a day that you did or didn't experience in your life while you were alive, I feel like you just go to your favorite moments in life, ya know?"_

_Billy hadn't really thought about it all that much, but then again Steve always had a much different mindset than him, he always thought far and wide about everything in life. He had always told Billy "Life is too short to have such a small imagination like yours Billy Hargrove,"._

_"If that is true Steve Harrington-" Billy laces his fingers with Steve's right hand that was drawing mindless circles on his chest._

_"This moment would definitely be apart of my heaven,"_

_Billy still remembers the grin that Steve had let spread on his face. It was breathtaking, just like everything else about him._

Shortly after that, Steve and Billy had fought about Billy wanting to go off to the army. Steve didn't want Billy to go mostly because of the fact that Billy was using the army as a last resort, stating that he was 'too dumb' to succeed any farther in life. Steve had also been upset at Billy risking his life and possibly dying, leaving Steve to suffer alone 'oh the irony' Billy thinks now. It was also because Billy had told him the news, a week before he was supposed to recruit and report to a base all the way in Ohio.

_"You can just dump this fucking news on me and expect me to be okay with this? Did you actually think, I know you like to make most of your decisions without thinking but did you fucking think about this? This is not only gonna change your life but it's gonna change my life, w-what happens if you die? Hm? Y-you can go to college Billy, I'll fucking pay for you if that's what you need-"_

_"I don't need your help Steve! I can take care of myself, you don't need to spend your rich daddy's money on me," Billy had shoved passed Steve as he stuffed more and more clothes in the large duffle bag he had on his shoulder._

_"Don't be an asshole Billy, You just can't leave okay? What am I gonna do without you? You're gonna be almost four hours away and I'll be right here in shitty ass Hawkins, wondering if you're lying dead in a field with a gunshot wound in your stomach, just waiting for you, and you might not even return, h-how do you think that makes me feel?" Steve had yelled the words so brokenly, one lonely teardrop falling down his face that Billy so fucking badly wanted to kiss in that moment and tell him he wasn't going anymore but instead harsh words had flowed out his mouth without thinking._

_"You don't have to fucking wait for me! You can leave now and I wouldn't wait for you, so why the hell should you wait for me?"_

_There was a pause in the room as soon as the words left Billy Hargrove's mouth, it had felt like the whole world stopped in those few seconds and Billy watched as Steve's eyes watered even more before he looked at the floor and quickly wiped his eyes._

_"Fine, I'll go, but you're gonna fucking wish you had someone other than me caring for your well being while you're away, because you and I both know, you make it so fucking hard for anyone to love you,"_

_Within a second, without Billy really noticing, he suddenly heard his car roar to life, a screeching sound ripping through the air of the quiet town as the tiles sped off. Billy didn't even get a chance to run out and stop Steve from taking his car, but even though Steve's car was parked in his driveway, he hadn't felt the need to chase after the other man, he simply remembers thinking 'is it worth it?'_

Billy should've chased after Steve that day, plain and simple. Maybe he could've beeped the wheel of Steve's BMW to let him know of the dead end that was up ahead, and maybe he could've dragged Steve out of the fucked up Camaro and called for help instead of the boy laying there bleeding out for two days, before finally dying after two more days. The worst part is, a kid that had been walking along the road had thought he heard someone call out for someone named 'Billy' but he thought it was someone who lived nearby at a cabin in the woods. The kid had stated this on the news shortly after they had found the 'unidentified twenty year old male in the blue camaro' it took Billy an additional day to finally claim the body as being Steve's and claiming the car that was towed. 

Billy doesn't know what hurts most, that Steve had bled out for so long, no one helping him, or that Billy was on his mind at the end of his time and Billy had been wallowing at home trying to avoid reaching for the phone to call Steve, he wasn't going to talk to Steve because the guy hadn't bothered to call him after so many days. Yeah that hurts more, Billy had still been angry while Steve was using the last of his life to call out for him.

The funeral had went by so painfully slow, Steve's family showed, his dad showing no emotions as he looked at his son in the open casket, Steve had still looked like Steve, just skinnier and his face had been a little more swollen because of some bruising from the wreck. Billy wanted to hold that face, and hold Steve and tell him how fucking sorry he was, but he couldn't because life was short and Steve's was now gone.

It's been eight whole months without Steve Harrington. It has not been any easier. Billy had been used to waking up and seeing the mess of brown locks laying in his chest, he had been used to Steve coming home exhausted from his late classes that he dreaded, complaining about the classes to Billy until Billy had kissed him on every body part, reassuring him that Steve could do it. Billy was just used to seeing Steve's face every day for so many years and 8 months without that face felt like a million years. Now, Billy understands why Steve had been so upset about him saying he was going to the army that day. Billy is also glad he didn't go because if he had, he most likely wouldn't had known about Steve's death until he got back. That would've hurt ten times more. 

Billy doesn't leave the house much unless he truly has to, it's a weekly shopping trip and that's really it. Today had been different though. 

He had went for the basics at the grocery store but when looking across the street at a furniture store him and Steve had visited a few times, a blue chair with decorative flowers on it had caught his eye across the street. Billy remembers when Steve had swung his legs over the arm chair, dangling them like a child and his ass had barely fit in the small blue chair but he had looked so happy and insisted Billy take a picture with their Polaroid. Billy still keeps this photo in his wallet.

But as Billy approaches the store, he notices there's already a bundle of brown hair sitting in it, their legs dangling over, similar to Steve's seating in the chair. He doesn't stop himself as he rushes into the store, not acknowledging the curious looks thrown his way as he went to the middle of the store where the person in the seat was still sitting.

"Steve-"

The boy turns around abruptly, his floppy hair falling on his forehead as he looks up at the breathless man in front of him. Billy clears his throat as he takes in the younger boy who has freckles scattered on his face and piercing green eyes.

"S-sorry, I thought you were someone else," Billy whispers awkwardly as the other boy simply nods and slides off the chair, passing by Billy to go look at records that were being sold on a small wall in the store.

Billy can't help himself as he braces himself on the small blue chair, placing his head in his hands as he thinks back to their day that was spent here.

_"Take the picture Hargrove, I'm not getting any younger," Steve muttered through a smile as he stared at the man in front of him angling the Polaroid camera precariously._

_"Oh shut up, I'm trying to make sure your ugly face looks good in this," Billy stuck his tongue out as he finally pressed the button for the picture._

_Steve had laughed loudly at the ridiculous position of him in the tiny blue chair once the photo was developed._

_"Oh my god, I look like an adult who's trying to reclaim his youth," Steve snorted and rolled his eyes as he began to look around the room for any other pieces of furniture that stood out._

_"I actually feel like you look more like a giant and you climbed down from the beanstalk, now your experiencing the real life and you've found yourself a pretty, blue chair,"_

_Billy grins as he watches Steve's eyes shine brighter, as he passes Billy, placing a soft pat on his stomach._

_"Glad to see you're thinking of things beyond this tiny world, maybe in another world I am a giant who's found a pretty blue chair," Steve restates fondly as he places a quick kiss on Billy's cheek._

_"Well, life's to short to be so... unimaginable," Billy rolls his eyes, mockingly using Steve's motto._

_Somewhere, deep down, Billy had always believed that motto._

As Billy held his head in his hand, he felt a smiled spread on his face at the memory, he may not have Steve with him physically but somehow when he looked up and looked at the boy whose looks were borderline Steve Harrington, he swears he sees that same smile Steve would give him when Billy would look at Steve admirable because they were simply in love. 

And suddenly as if on cue, a note peeks out from in between a table right next to the chair and Billy subconsciously grabs it.

In the messiest of handwritings, that even Billy wonders how he could read it, big letters read ' _Billiam and Stevie, Forever and Always'_

Billy thinks that in another universe, Steve Harrington and Billy Hargrove are in that same furniture chair, except the chair is purple instead and Billy doesn't take a picture of Steve because they're both storing this memory in their brains. 

Or Billy thinks that maybe just maybe, Steve is in his heaven right now, in the same blue chair writing this note secretly and leaving it tucked in the cracked leg of the table, before he gets ready to pose for the picture Billy keeps stored in his wallet.

 


End file.
